Forgiveness and success aren’t usually said in the same sentence. Nevertheless, forgiveness is vital.
Right now, think back to the worst thing anyone has ever done or said to you. It still hurts, doesn’t it? How much time have you spent ruminating about it? How much joy has this event taken from your life?
Picture that person in your mind. Can you forgive them? Have you tried?
It’s not easy to forgive, especially if the actions were intentional and the person isn’t even remotely sorry – or if they aren’t even aware of how badly you were hurt.
But they’re living out their lives while you’re carrying that grudge around – wasting precious mental energy on something that’s done and gone.
Learn to forgive as soon as you can to get unstuck. Here’s why forgiveness accelerates success:
- Optimism. Forgiveness helps you take things less personally – which helps so much if you’re an entrepreneur or salesperson who hears “no” a lot.
- Compassion. Forgiveness helps you see the person’s actions from a different perspective that recognizes that hurtful words and actions come from deep inner pain.
- Strength. Forgiving others helps you recognize that you are not perfect either and someone may need to forgive you… and that includes you forgiving yourself.
- Freedom. Forgiveness lets you turn your mind to the future you want to create instead of being victimized by the past.
Those are the benefits. Now, how do you forgive?
#1. Let it out. Admit your anger and hurt, and express it (in a healthy way).
#2. Never blame yourself. People have 100% responsibility for their choices, words and actions. However, don’t judge, either. Judgement perpetuates the hurt. Just observe.
#3. Take back your power. You get to choose your response to a memory. Resentment doesn’t come from the conduct of the other person, it comes from your unwillingness to let go of the memory.
#4. Experience the emotions and let them go. Emotions are transient and the experience passes quickly if you don’t focus on the thoughts that generated the emotions.
#5. Don’t expect an apology. You may never get one. Be kind instead of right.
#6. Give. This event took something from you and your ego is bruised – it wants revenge. But instead of taking revenge… give a pardon. Give understanding. Give compassion. When you can, give love, even if just in your mind and from far, far away.
#7. Let it go. The best ‘revenge’ is a life well-lived.